With face masks back on the menu for the NSW region of NSW (Newcastle, Sydney, Wollongong) – millions of Australians are readjusting to that life we thought we had left back in December 2020.

NSW has extended its COVID-19 restrictions for one week until May 15, despite recording another day of no new locally acquired COVID-19 cases.

This is due to the fact that contact tracers are still trying to find the missing piece that explains how the virus was transmitted to a positive-testing Eastern suburbs man in his 50s, before passing it onto his wife.

Over the weekend, retail customers and public transport commuters have had to scramble to find masks to continue everyday life.

This has resulted in some gross offers of second-hand masks, by mates who have a spare mask – that they have previously worn several times – in their glovebox or back pocket.

Local Dapto accountant, Berrick (44) was attempting to enter a Illawarra football match over the weekend, when he realised he needed a mask.

“Oh fuck. I’m not gonna get in” said Berrick

“I’m gonna have go to find a Woolies”

“Nah no worries mate” said his close mate and brother in-law, Keiran, who had driven them to the stadium.

“I’ve got ya”

Keiran then rummaged around between the crevice of his two back seats and found a 4-month-old blue disposable mask he has previously worn eighteen different times – sometimes for as long as four or five hours during the peak of the pandemic.

While dusting off the stale Twisties and dog hair of the mask that has visible ice coffee stains on the inside from the smokos of yesteryear, Keiran makes it clear that he is an absolute fucking sicko.

“You can wear my other mask if you want”



Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here