ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A maths teacher from one of our town’s only government selective schools has agreed today with the statement that his extremely low opinion of the NAPLAN testing regime is largely interchangeable with his opinion of politicians.

“From top to bottom,” said Mr Tex Brown, a secondary maths teacher at French Quarter State High.

NAPLAN, which stands for the National Assessment Program – Literacy and Numeracy, is for a myriad of reasons unpopular with teachers around the country and as last year was pretty much a dead loss (figuratively and literally) for everyone around the world, teachers have said doing the NAPLAN this year will only stand to be a detriment to both schools, students and parents.

“From top to bottom, I think politics is rotten. Local, state and federal. It’s time to nail the doors shut and burn them all to death. Those caught climbing out the window will be shot and shot again through the head where they’ve fallen,”

“No, I don’t teach modern history and I don’t work at the ABC, like you’d expect someone with these opinions to work at. I’m a teacher and I do this job not for the dope holidays and outrageous super. I do it for the future of the country,”

“Most of my Year 9’s this year are so far behind, if we make them do NAPLAN, it’ll only make things worse. Parents will be upset. Some might think they’re produced an idiot. Which is entirely plausible. Especially in this inbred hell hole.”

When asked what his exact position was on NAPLAN, Tex sighed.

“It’s pointless, useless and hopeless,” he said.

“Like the government.”

More to come.


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