The leader of the island outpost of Tasmania has today revealed he kinda wouldn’t mind a bit of an outbreak if he’s honest.

Without the lockdowns of the mainland to occupy voters, Tasmanian Premier Peter Gutwein says he’s struggling to distract people from the housing crisis crippling the state.

“The spicy cough’s kind of the perfect distraction from more substantial and engrained issues like the housing crisis, literacy and numeracy rates, and rampant scourge of pokies,” Gutwein explained to The Advocate today.

“Obviously the little border shutdown’s given us a tiny reprieve from the city fleeing yuppies of Adelaide, Melbourne and Sydney, but it’s only momentary.”

“Some people have suggested I should be using the time to try and do something about the fact people are forced to pay $540 a week for a shitty fibro three bedder in Austins Ferry.”

His comments come after years of Tasmanians being forced out of homes or forced to pay exorbitant rent because of people looking for a lifestyle change from the mainland.

“Or the fact that in plenty of suburbs only 45% of students finish Year 12.”

“But that sounds way too much like hard work and long-term planning,” he laughed.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here