Following the news that The Seven Network is set to put a telemovie about ‘the women, the parties and the many lives’ of Australian cricketer Shane Warne into production, the subject himself has refused to hand over any of the rights unless he is ‘represented accurately’.

By this, he means, the actor playing Shane Keith Warne must be a hunk.

Channel Seven is is currently halfway through the casting for the sporting biopic, and is applying to Screen Australia for funding to make the drama.

The King Of Spin, regarded by anyone with half a brain as one of the greatest cricketers of all time, has had a controversial but treasured career, including a series of high-profile love affairs, some even extramarital, as well as his crowning moment when he started putting away British actress Liz Hurley.

Speaking to The Betoota Advocate today, the King said “if it’s one of those run-of-the-mill Secret Life Of Us types that gets the honour to portray him, he’ll be making sure the production never sees the light of day”

“I don’t want to brag, but… It’s gotta be a Hemsworth”

“Everyone remembers young Shane. Maybe there were a few extra kilos in the early days, but I reckon Chris or Liam could do me justice in terms of facial features and hair”

“Either that, or Luke Bracey…. Actually I was originally thinking maybe Ryan Gosling, but he’d have trouble with the accent”

Hollywood Actor Chris Hemsworth says he’d be absolutely stoked to play the King Of Spin, if Channel Seven would be so kind to let that happen.

“I’d do it for free” he says while stroking his hands through his feathered, gorgeous blonde mane.

“I might need to work out a bit for the scenes with Liz Hurley. Fuck, Warnie is looking good”

Hemsworth says his brother would probably be keen to play Shane as well, but he would do everything in his power to get the job over him.

“I’ve been waiting for this one since ‘the ball’ [Shane Warne’s Ball of The Century, day two 1993 Ashes series]”

“I was only a kid but I knew even then that Shane was an icon”

While giving a sultry star through his Bailey Nelson sunglasses, Hemsworth unbuttons his shirt to show that he barely has ‘the rug’ needed to play a nude Shane Warne in any potential sex scenes.

“I’ve got to work on my rig as well” he says



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