Victorian Police have today given a statement outlining the recent crankiness of their officers, following viral video footage of them fucking up a disability pensioner for no real reason.

“Doughnut Time was a real perk for a day out on the job for these fellas” said Victorian police commissioner, Graham Ashton

“Obviously, the franchise has folded and the boys are a little bit upset about it all. You know how it goes”

The pastry chain made popular by their oversized doughnuts, Doughnut Time, has gone completely broke, according to their previous high-flying management, as the company started closing half of their Australian stores, with entrepreneur and owner Damian Griffiths being forced to sell up shop.

It appears the lack of easily accessible doughnuts on the streets of Victoria has been taken quite hard by Victorian coppers, as evident by the recent scandal.

This comes after half a dozen Victorian cops were caught on camera pinning down, striking and dousing a mentally ill Melbourne man with capsicum spray and a garden hose.

However, this has done little to quell the outrage shown by Victorian media, who were sickened to see the police using such excessive force on someone who wasn’t visibly Sudanese.


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