31 May, 2015. 14:34

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact

Local man, Eddie O’Farrell says being called ‘babe’ by a sixteen-year-old is one of the most distressing things he has to deal with each year.

The 31-year-old carpenter says visiting retail stores at his local Westfield is terrifying, mainly due to fact that his annual encounter with General Pants floor staff makes him feel like he should be on a sex offender watch list.

“Do they tell these girls to act like that?” he asks, while chain-smoking a cigarette in the Carindale Shopping Centre car park.

“I just had a girl, who is basically young enough to be my daughter, run her hand across my lower back and ask me if I needed a hand,”

“I’m buying jeans for fucks sake, why isn’t she at school – why is she wearing a see-through top?!”

A recent Nielsen survey of young Australian men aged between 20-40 finds that majority of respondents are less inclined to replace worn and ageing clothes, due to the fact that they are terrified of having attractive teenage girls flirt with them while shopping.

90% said they have had a teenage girl tug on their back pocket while attempting to alert them to a special deal on chino trousers.

70% said they have had an attractive teenage employee converse with them about ‘weekend plans’ from outside the changing rooms in the back of the store.

With his girlfriend now wondering why he is feeling too guilty to answer his phone, Mr O’Farrell says he is planning on getting out of town for a few days.

“Yeah, just need to clear my head,”

“That was all pretty full on. I need to skip town for a little while.”




  1. If he feels like a sex offender then he probably is, the thought generally precedes the deed.

    Mind you these young shop girls are right pests., I generally just tell them to fuck off when they start with their ‘How are you today’ nonsense.

    Haven’t bought anything new in over ten years. Thank god for Vinnies, that’s all I can say!

  2. What a ridiculous comment above. If he feels like one he probably is!!!! If you feel like a psychoanalyst you are what? A psychoanalyst? Probably not. If you feel like an idiot making simplistic comments then on the other hand you probably are one. Thoughts don’t always precede deeds. Thoughts are important to help decide on what follows. Sometimes thoughts are just thoughts. And deeds are without thought. Sometimes articles like this pick up on the irony of modern life. Duh.


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