Tasmanians are today actively seeking businesses that have air-conditioning, as the mercury glides just under 30 degrees celsius in the Apple Isle.

Thousands of slow speaking convict-descendants have been spotted lining up outside the one cinema in Hobart, as well as the flash Maccas on the highway into town.

This comes as the Tasmanian Fire Service (TFS) has extended a total fire ban across much of the state and Parks and Wildlife has ruled out campfires for the rest of summer.

TFS said the total fire ban would remain in place in the south of the state and extend to the entire north and parts of the north-west until midnight on Friday.

Temperatures of 28 degrees Celsius are forecast for the towns of St Helens, Fingal and St Marys, and the bureau expects surrounding areas to be about two degrees hotter, maybe.

Meteorologists are looking at fairly widespread areas of high to mid-20s right across the central north, northern midlands, north-east and east coast.

“Fuck me it’s hot” says one Tasmanian, Bernie Launcest (58)


“How are you blokes sitting outside like that. This is fucked up. It didn’t even snow on Mt Wellington this morning”

“Fuck we can only hope that they send it down Huey [it rains] this arvo”



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