WENDELL HUSSEY | Intern | Contact

Burwood solicitor Simon Harper has today distanced himself from his previous claims that he is a “bit of a Rake himself.”

Despite the fact that, he doesn’t have anything in common with notable barrister and personality Charles Waterstreet, Harper has long described himself as a bit of a scoundrel.

“Yeah, what can I say, I work hard. I play hard, but nah I don’t carry on and play it off like I’m a suave cheeky gentleman” Harper said.

After allegations arose this week that Waterstreet is getting up to all sorts of grubby shit that most people in the industry were aware of, or expected, his banal counterpart out in the burbs has confirmed to the Advocate that he won’t be claiming it anymore.

“Hmm, yeahhhh. I mean I’ve got charisma, and I am a pretty good advocate in court if I do say so myself, but yeah I don’t get up to that other stuff,” Harper said this morning.

Colleagues confirmed that Harrper’s “advocacy” is actually just him bumbling through a few lines in court once a month for some minor traffic infringement and that the middle class local doesn’t have an ounce of personality or flair.

“Yeah he is about as sterile as the city of Canberra. Simon is the kind of guy who does a “shoey” when he is obnoxiously drunk at a Christmas party,” fellow solicitor Jane Truong said.

We contacted Waterstreet for comment on the allegations, but just ended up getting stuck in an awkward interaction where he tried to show us pornos on his phone.


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