A decadent young person, who has already disconnected the internet from her flat and is now relying on her phone data package to save money, has still failed in her efforts to help carry the load.

Betoota Heights chartered accountant, Emily Spectre (34), has today made a trip to the dentist to fix an infected root canal that she has been unable to ignore.

With an extortionate private health fund that only covers less than half the costs associated with replacing her compromised tooth’s damaged and dead pulp with synthetic filling, the financially illiteracy of Australia’s under 35s was on full display as she pulled out her debit card to pay for the rest.

This comes as RBA governor Michele Bullock came out this week to warn that further interest rate pain may be on the way to tackle “homegrown” inflation which is caused by ‘haircuts and trips to the dentist’.

The central banker said on Wednesday that domestic factors were the dominant driver of the cost-of-living crisis, and by that, she means, young people spending money on things other than mortgage repayments on overvalued properties that Joe Hockey told them they’d be able to afford if they got a good job.

This is not the first time the RBA has punished young people for not tightening the belt to counterbalance the relentless spending of the over-50s who are snatching up the vast majority of available dwellings as outright investments in between overseas cruise packages

With retails spending down in every category and age bracket in Australia, except for the over 55s that are up nearly 10%, there is still a lot more young people can do to stop this homegrown inflation.

First of all, they should stop going to the hairdresser and gym classes, even if their jobs require them to look sharp.

But young people have also been ordered to avoid dental care while also trying to compete with boomers in the housing market while also attempting to start the young families that they’ve also been urged to create in an effort to counterbalance foreign immigration.

However, after weeks of poor sleep and excruciating pain, Emily has gone and visited a medical professional.

“I’m so sorry” she said.

“I’ll make up for it I swear. Maybe I’ll tell my parents I have to do Christmas over zoom this year to save money on flights to the coast”


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