Local introvert Dylan Fernie (28), has reportedly spent over 2 minutes rehearsing the elusive “no thanks” gesture after spotting some charity pests in a more than chipper mood, 200 meters ahead of him.

“As an introvert it’s easy to just look at the floor as you walk, but I guess this all goes to show how important looking out for potential threats is when walking through the city.” Dylan reminded himself.

Dylan says he spent the majority of his lead up contemplating if he was going to use a dismissive hand wave or the classic smile and “no thanks” under his breath.

“I went with the hand wave, I was feeling risky that day.” Dylan said.

Within the introvert community it’s very well known that charity pests are prone to cause anxiety in their victims, surprisingly though, It seems that charity pests are almost completely oblivious to the harm they have been inflicting all these years.

Olivia Douglas (23), is a seasoned charity pest that loves her job and brings a great attitude to the streets of her beloved city. She says she was surprised by the news that some people don’t want to talk to her.

“I don’t get it really, I’ve always got a big smile, always give a nice wave, oh and I always get right in front of them so it’s not like they could miss me or anything.” Olivia said.

While Olivia seemed shocked by the new revelation, the advocate was able to uncover a darker side of the charity pest world –  those that are well aware of what they’re doing.

“Yep I know what I’m doing, I actually try to spot the introverts and ruin their day. My job sucks as is – may as well ruin other people’s peace.” Said George O’Connel (29), a “dark-side” charity pest, as many from within know them as.

“Me personally, I like to think of myself as something like a dementor from Harry Potter.” George admitted.

“Sometimes I even taunt them when they’ve walked past me to really rattle them.”

“Where are you going buddy!? I’m not that ugly am I!?”  

“That’s my favourite one to yell at them.”


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