The nation’s Prime Minister has today rolled the sleeves up, and decided to do a bit of work.

Not by trying to figure out what to do about the rising cost of living that confronts Australia as it tries to navigate its way out of this whole spicy cough thing – but by going full bore at trying to convince voters to get around him in a couple of months time.

With the government set to call an election any day now, the Prime Minister’s recent run of poor publicity has gotten worse this week, with allegations that he racially vilified a candidate vying for pre-selection in the seat that he wanted.

This comes after statutory declarations from notable Sutherland business figure Michael Towke claim that preselectors informed him that Morrison had told them in 2007 “a candidate of Lebanese heritage could not hold the seat of Cook, especially after the Cronulla riots” and there was a “strong rumour” that Towke was a Muslim.

The smear campaign from the future Prime Minister came as a result of Towke beating him in a ballot contest, which should have seen him win pre-selection for the seat of Cook.

However, thanks to Morrison using racial prejudice to run Towke into the ground, the Eastern Suburbs boy successfully won the Shire.

Now, given the proximity of the allegations to an election, Scotty from Marketing has been forced to go all out to try and win back voters who might be starting to think this guy actually is a psychopath and a bully.

Sporting a fresh new fade, Morrison has since announced that he is changing NRL clubs and throwing his weight behind the Canterbury Bankstown Bulldogs.

“Dogs of War cuz,” said the excited Prime Minister, beating a sizeable drum during the press conference.

“I know they say you can only change footy clubs once, but there is an exception to that rule,” laughed Morrison.

“You can change a third time when you are an embattled Prime Minister who is facing the consequences of turning politics into a schoolyard popularity contest because you can’t be bothered to come up with any policy of substance.”

“So, I’m ditching the Sharkoes, and going all-in on the Doggies, wallah.”

“Lets trot!”

More to come.


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