A local pyrotechnic by the name of Braden, is currently under the pump this afternoon, ahead of his biggest day of the year.

After a delivery mix up, it appears he is going to have to settle for turquoise spirals instead the aquas that he had initially choreographed to time with the bright pink roman candles.

“This isn’t exactly Australia Day, or an anniversary of the Sydney Olympics” he says to the suppliers.

“This is new years eve. Our biggest night of the year”

“Congratulations, you’ve just fucked the countdown for 6 million people. Now doubt these timers are as shonky as the fucking barge you sent them out here on”

“If we don’t sync up with Thunderstruck at 11:45 then we may as well pack it in”

With the city council currently running two hours behind schedule to close the bridge, Braden says Murphy’s fucken law always comes into play this time of the year.

“What is this? Fucken Riverfire?” he roars.

“This isn’t some bullshit Queensland tourism event. This is my fucking opus, and you’ve fucked me”

With tens of thousands of people currently preparing to make their way into the city, Braden says, much like the architect Sydney Opera house, he will not be able to look at his art the same way again.

“I should not have to compromise for bureaucracy”

“I’ll be listening to Kendrick in the van”


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