ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Getting separated from your friends, dealing with other friends who’ve bitten off more MDMA than they can chew and finding your way home through a sea of charged up backpackers and unincarcerated perverts — these are just some of the reasons why Australia’s chief scientific bureau has concluded that New Year’s Eve is the most overrated celebration of the year.

Today, the CSIRO released a day-long study into why New Year’s Eve is such a let down for thousands of young Australians who still believe that a good time can be had on the day.

Listing a myriad of reasons as to why people always feel let down by the time the fireworks begin, lead researcher Brett Connolly explained to The Advocate that the results speak for themselves.

“We interviewed eleven young Australians and asked them really what gets their goolies when it comes to New Year’s Eve,” he said. “And the results were shocking.”

“Nine respondents explained that they spent upwards of three hours on the phone trying to find out where their friends are before making some sort of hollow promise of meeting up with them later.”

“Half had to explain to us the sheer frustration and stress of having to deal with other friends who’ve had a bit too much to drink or are nearing some sort of overdose — is just too much to deal with, for both parties.”

Dr Connolly concluded that Australians often run head-first into NYE, which almost always leads to disappointment. He’s suggested that you should ‘lower your expectations and just go with it.’


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