26 December, 2016. 15:34
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Just appalled at what he’s let himself become over the silly season, a West Betoota software developer casually began browsing through a list of local gyms – looking to choose one until he goes off the cardio rails again at the end of next month.
Not wanting to lie to himself anymore, Glenn Peterson (28) of Pearson Avenue told The Advocate that he’s only looking for a one-month commitment physically, but a full 12-month financial one.
“Yeah look, but,” he said. “I’m not about to pull it out and piss in your pocket, I know I’m only going to over-exert myself until Australia Day, then I know I’ll come to love the new me.”
“The new me will die a bit earlier, have much more trouble climbing a staircase but he’ll be much happier and carefree, until my first cardiac episode.”
Mr Peterson is among the scores of other young Betootanese residents expected to join a gym in the coming days. A new supplement shop is opening on Gilroy Cresent before the beginning of 2017, as well.
Exciting times, says Mayor Cr Keith Carton, who plans to join a gym this new year to finally whip himself into the shape of his life.
“The Turner Parade gym lets you smoke while you pump iron, you know. That’s pretty European,” explained Carton. “But at $27 a week, you’re paying European prices. But what price can you put on your health?”
More to come.