The largest city in Australia is facing the prospect of a lockdown with 16 new cases of the spicy cough emerging in the last 24 hours.

This comes a short time after the second largest city was forced to lock down and a month after the Prime Minister assured the nation that the jab roll-out wasn’t a race.

Months after promising to have the country jabbed by the end of the year, the Prime Minister defended only 2% of the population being protected a few weeks ago, by explaining that the roll-out ‘isn’t a race.’

With only an additional 1% of Australians receiving both doses since those deflecting comments, the nation is now asking if Mr Morrison could please fire the starter’s gun and get this public health policy off and racing.

The request comes as the nation lags behind 10% of the global population being double jabbed, and the health system that everyone likes to sneer at in America getting 45.7% of their citizens protected.

“Yeah maybe we should have treated this thing like a race aye,” explained a small business owner from Sydney facing the prospect of weeks without proper income.

“Easy for public servants whose pay is guaranteed to say beating this thing isn’t a race, but it would have been good if they made getting these doses and rolling them out a priority.”

“If the US health system and the NHS can do it, we must have completely fucked this thing up to be only up to 3% of the population.”

The Prime Minister was unavailable for comment after an unscheduled internet disruption occurred at his residence.

More to come.


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