As half of the nation continues to live in lockdown, some Australians are focussing on the silver linings such as the fact that there are currently no charity muggers out and about right now.

With Australia’s two biggest cities, Sydney and Melbourne, continuing to lockdown residents to protect them from the delayed jab rollout, the usually bustling city streets are now absent of life and, refreshingly, free of any friendship faking little charity muggers.

Known primarily for their dreadlocks and ability to withstand a shitload of rejection, ‘Charity muggers’ are hired representatives of a non-for-profit or charitable organisation that try to get monthly donations from people off the street.

Although many organisations in the 21st century use emails, sales calls and online advertising to reach their audience, charity mugging cuts out the middleman by putting the sales person right in your face while you’re on the way to get your script filled.

Now, Australia’s two largest cities can not only enjoy streets that are completely charity mugger free but also free of anyone else, themselves included but mostly including the charity muggers.

“It’s nice to have some good news,” stated Melbourne resident and veteran of six lockdowns Adam Ridge, who was busy being sad about the surveillance legislation amendment when he got the news the charity muggers were off the streets. 

“Before I realised the charity muggers were gone that Eddie McGuire stuff with WA was doing a lot of the heavy lifting morale wise.”


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