A rare community of persecuted Rohingyan Muslims with pure and smooth white skin have been identified as ‘the type of people we want coming here’ – so long as they can keep their religion to themselves and anglicise their names.

Home Affairs minister Peter Dutton wants to give “special attention” to the newly discovered white Rohingyans for possible fast-tracked humanitarian visas. The minister made the comments in interviews with the Daily Telegraph and 2GB radio, after reports that many have persecuted in recent times following what the UN called a “frenzied scale of unspeakable violence” that saw 6700 Rohingya peoplekilled last August alone, the first month of the latest crackdown on the minority group.

As of December, an estimated 10,000 had been killed.

Dutton says the white Rohingyan community make up a much more aesethetic subcategory within the Rohingya minority – all of whom have been victims of “a textbook example of ethnic cleansing” that saw up to 800,000 Rohingya fleeing to neighbouring Bangladesh in recent months.

When asked if the brownfellas are going to get a similar start as the whiteys, Dutton says lets not get ahead of ourselves.

“Let’s just see how the white ones settle in, before we started thinking about taking in visibly foreign people” said Dutton.

“I understand it’s urgent, but we need to think on this. We can’t just let anyone into this country. Unless we get the hurry on from Miranda”

This example of instantaneous humanity and policy-improv comes a week after Peter Dutton and former Prime Minister Tony Abbott came out in in defence of fast-tracking visas for white South Africans who are now at risk under a new presidential regime.

The current humanitarian crisis has seen over 400 white farmers attacked last year, in what is clearly a form of political persecution against people white enough to enjoy rugby union.

“#BringThemHere” Tweeted Abbott.

“And #LetThemStay”


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