The Australian Bookmaker Union (TABU) have today released a report that details significant and concerning new data regarding users of Australian online betting apps.

“We have seen a significant dip in 18-35 year old men dumping eye-watering amounts of money on Dubai horse races at three in the morning” said TABU lead researcher, Tay Kamamuni.

“It looks as though Australian men are more interested in playing the long game with their betting”

It would seem that the gambling industry’s historical ‘boot-to-neck’ type hold of middle class Australian males is beginning to slip, as punters groups around the country turn their attention to the cryptocurrency market.

“One of the scaffers from work reckons he bought some Bitcoin to buy some rack off Silk Road about four years ago” says Betoota converter, Hamish Streep.

“Now he’s worth a million dollars because he forgot about it and didn’t cash out.”

“Mate, deadset your a mug if you’re not in it”

Other findings from the report reveal that majority of loudest Bitcoin investors are the same people who contemplated making their own app after Instagram got sold to Facebook in 2012.

It is believed that these so-called ‘alphas’ – who also were the first people to say the enjoyed Action Bronson’s music – are solely responsible for hijacking punters clubs group chats right around the country.


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