Reporters from literally every single media outlet in the country stood in front of Malcolm Turnbull moments ago with outstretched hands holding zoom recorders and iPhones.

Unfortunately, after twenty minutes, he was unable to give any of them anything close to a sound bite.

“Well” he started with, quite confidently.

“The thing is…”


“ummmm [exhales air]”


When asked his thoughts on the current vetting programs based on religious and ethnic discrimination currently happening in North America, the Prime Minister edged the conversation towards sport.

“How bout them Wallabies?” he said.

“Haven’t they… You know.. [exhales]”

“Hmmm. Dooty doo-doo”

Yesterday, ALP leader Bill Shorten took aim at the Prime Minister’s initial silence on a Trump administration decision to ban travel into the US for dual nationals from seven “terror-source” countries.

When asked if he had a reply for Shorten Turnbull simply responded by saying his party stopped the boats.

“We stopped them. And ummm…”

“The unions… ahhhh [exhales, chews]”




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