Earlier today as NSW residents tuned in for their daily 11am presser of pain, premier Gladys Berijiklian assured her citizens not to panic as there is no need to do the thing she will definitely do when it’s already too late.

Previously, the NSW premier stated there would be no need to lockdown when her state had recorded one case of the Delta variant, something she once bragged about on FM radio with Kyle Sandilands. 

Weeks later, NSW entered quasi-lockdown due to the spread of the Delta variant which continues to claim 200+ daily infections.

Residents of regional NSW and bordering states are now concerned the premier will be late to set a ‘ring of steel’ around Sydney, something the Copper Lady of politics all but confirmed during her 11am presser. 

“Next question,” stated Premier Berijiklian, before a member of the press had even asked her anything. 

“There is no need for us to form a ring of steel around Sydney until the virus has well and truly set up its roots in places like Newcastle. I want to make it clear to the people in Newcastle, no matter what happens, you will still be able to show up for work at the steel mill.”

“Unless you feel sick, in which case, use common sense, check with your boss and do as they say.”

Many residents of the gold standard state claim at this point they can only watch on in horror as their premier continues to delay making drastic calls that might actually stop a heap of them from dying even if it might piss off her mates in the construction industry. 

“I can’t stress enough that it is tragic that unjabbed people have died. I would like to point out, this could have been avoided if they had been jabbed sometime in the next three to four months like we planned.”


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here