ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

NSW Labor leader Tom Tilley has asked voters to hit the textline with their thoughts on the on-going Sydney Lockdown and the sheer incompetence of state and federal governments.

Mr Tilley went onto say that the people of New South Wales are now just starting to realise that despite her relatable boyfriend problems – and the fact she’s surrounded by useless old men that looks like a mince wrapped in Glad Wrap – Gladys Berejiklian might’ve been not up to the job from the start.

The affable Mudgee boy spoke candidly to reporters this morning outside the NSW Parliament under a fig tree in the Domain, near where the Deputy Premier likes to go and cry.

“It’s just unabridged arrogance,” said the motocross enthusiast.

“Is the shine starting to come off Gladys Berejiklian or was there no shine to begin with? I want to hear your thoughts on this. A few people have already texted through,”

“Ok, Lucy in Curlwaa says the Shooters and Fishers will start taking inner-city seats at this rate. They’re fucking hopeless. Especially that napi-sanned gym sock Niall Blair who came out to Menindee in a fucking trilby. Enough is enough. Ooooo, tough words there from Lucy,”

“We have Kade in Lithgow who says the lockdowns in Sydney are preventing him from accessing services in the Blue Mountains. Do yourself a favour Kade and get the hell out of Lithgow. It’s a grim place, especially in July,”

“And then we have Orlaith from County Coogee in Sydney’s east who says they’ll be getting the Irish broom out this government will if they keep this incompetence up. For those listening at home, an Irish broom is essentially a pole with a mirror on the bottom to check under cars for explosives. Political violence is never OK, Orlaith, but I like how passionate you are on the issue,”

“Keep the texts coming through guys, coming up next. We’re going to speak to a Melbourne man who wrote a book on surviving lockdowns. Perhaps some Sydneysiders should blow the dust off their Kindles for this one.”

More to come.


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