ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

As the nation’s social and economic handbrakes dig their heels in when it comes to getting the spicy cough jab, the one man who controls their destiny has put two of their most beloved tax concessions on the table.

Josh Frydenberg, a Victorian man who runs the nation’s bank accounts, has told the petulant Boomers of Australia that if they don’t fall in line and get the el cheapo Astro Zucchini jab, they can kiss their perks goodbye.

“The only reason why we had to shut the borders in the first place is to protect them,” said Josh.

“And now, when the nation asks them to do one thing, they won’t do it. They’re offered a free, safe jab and they turn it down for one that’s arguably less safe for them to take,”

“I’m fucking sick of it. If you are over 70 and don’t get the Astro, no franking credits or negative gearing for you. You’re paying the full wack. I’m sorry it’s come to this,”

“But in all honesty, Australia will be paying nearly a trillion dollars in aged care to see out the Baby Boomers over the next 20 years so maybe we should tax the Bejesus out of them. God knows Labor will, too,”

“So they better bloody ship up and get the jab. Or else when the borders open, they’ll be blaming the government while they cough themselves to death on the side of the Bruce Highway.”

More to come.


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