The ‘chilled out’ Northern NSW town of Nimbin has today revealed that their entire economy and appeal to tourists is being irreparably damaged by a Sydney-centric state police force, who still think smoke created by plant-based cannabinoids makes teenagers worship satan.

Known colloquially around the Australia as a pretty good place to score some buds, Nimbin Police have found themselves sufficiently bored enough to begin arresting locals for doing shit that is pretty much illegal in most other places around the world.

“We vow to crack down on the only economic stimulant in the Northern Rivers hinterland” says NSW Police Chief Mick Fuller.

“No longer will the police we have stationed up there ignore a generations old cultural practice that doesn’t really affect anyone except the people who explicitly drove three hours from the coast to experience it”

This year, seven local boys who grew up in the town of Nimbin were sentenced to jail for selling pot by a magistrate sent up from Sydney. In a ‘bold shake up’ of petty crime in a town that no one otherwise cares about.

In a ‘bold shake up’ of petty crime in a town that no one otherwise cares about, these arrests add to total of 29 charges placed on local for various offences relating to the supply of drugs under the Drug Misuse and Trafficking Act (1985).

Eleven received suspended sentences; one got off, another a good behaviour bond. Nine cases were adjourned until August 31 at Lismore Court – by which time marijuana could probably be legalised and these people will be carrying pointless criminal convictions for the rest of their lives.


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