Yesterday Saputo milk tanker drivers from the Transport Workers’ Union went on strike across Victoria’s Gippsland region over a new enterprise bargaining agreement.

The log of claims intends to tackle dissatisfaction with proposed shift change notifications and changes to the time drivers start work, as well as a demand for pay rises

This action is affecting not only Saputo suppliers but also other smaller companies that use the same truck network to pick up milk, and the many unfaithful stay-at-home housewives that rely on these workers to fill a romantic void in their marriages

In a separate industrial action, dairy factory workers have also walked off the job today.

About 1,400 staff are on strike at 14 Saputo, Fonterra, Lactalis and Peters ice cream factory sites across Victoria – with union members seeking a 15 per cent pay increase over three years, after negotiations were delayed 3 years due to the pandemic.

While this kind of industrial action causes grief for both farmers and consumers, the unions argue the real enemy here is the companies that “made record profits” during the pandemic.

However, it’s the sexually neglected housewives of rural Victoria that will be suffering the most, as they face an indefinite period of celibacy without the milkman turning up to get a leg over.

Prominent Gippsland adulterer, Kassandra Newcombe (42), says this unfortunately timed industrial action may force her to begin examining the talent of local landscapers and junior footy coaches.

“This strike is causing disruption to an array of other arrangements” she says.

“I just hope the bosses can come to the table and negotiate sooner rather than later. This industrial action has unfortunate ripple affects – and is disrupting an array of other unrelated arrangements”

Newcombe’s comments were echoed by Latrobe Valley man-eater, Kasey McNamara, who says the worst case scenario is the unserviced housewives of South-East Victoria might have to make another attempt at reigniting the fire in their stale marriages.

“Have you ever tried to seduce a man who comes home from work full of piss and falls asleep watching Sky News on the couch every night?”

“We all know that we’d have better luck waiting for a foreign-owned dairy conglomerate to part ways with a small percentage of their record breaking proftits”


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