The people of Moree have made it clear that they aren’t fucking around with any rational explanations for why their noses are a bit runny this morning.

They also insist they aren’t being hypochondriacs, because seriously, the Tavern was packed to the rafters on the weekend and we had a fucking active case in the mix.

A pop-up testing clinic is operating at the Gateway, with cars lined up for roughly two kilometres as the locals begin second guessing their hayfever.

This comes as health authorities confirm a 44-year-old woman tested positive to COVID-19 in Queensland after leaving Melbourne during lockdown on June 1 and was possibly infectious while she travelled through regional NSW – stopping at Gillenbah, Forbes, Dubbo and Moree en route to the Sunshine Coast.

More than 900 people have been tested for COVID-19 in Moree within 12 hours, as NSW rural health staff are applauded for their exceptional performance in helping identify any further outbreaks that may be linked to the selfish Victorian.

Speaking to The Betoota Advocate through a face mask and an unwound Landcruiser passenger window, Moree local Concetta Perkins says she isn’t taking any chances on this shit.

“Yeah sure, 10 degrees is cold, I get that”

“But how am I supposed to know my runny nose is a result of the weather or the St Kilda sneeze”

“You could say the same for my lack of taste. Is it because I’m infected with this terrible virus, or is it because I smoke 40 Longbeach menthols a day?”

“I don’t know. But I want to know, so that’s why I’m going to spend the next eight hours on the side of the highway”



Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here