As reported yesterday by the Betoota Advocate, the self-titled cultural hub on Australia’s east coast was the centre of an unnecessary demonstration political correctness involving the genders depicted in traffic light pedestrian signals.

In Melbourne yesterday, campaigners called for all new walking signals to feature 50 per cent male figures and 50 per cent female figures – in an attempt to add gender to the stick figures.

The Committee for Melbourne says having green or red silhouettes only of men at traffic lights reinforces unconscious bias by discriminating against women. But others have said it’s a political correctness overload.

As was expected, people have reacted angrily to the fact that they have had to even think about this non-issue, and whats worse, be told by activists that they are not conscious of their bias towards female traffic lights.

This issue, which has been ricocheted across blogs and the Facebook walls of inner-city lefties, has become dangerously close to a state issue. This has resulted in a swift intervention by Victorian Premier Daniel Andrews.

Speaking to the media earlier this morning, the Premier said that as a progressive leader, he felt it was best to nip this ‘snowflake issue’ in the bud as quick as possible.

“The fact that we have a progressive minority group who is able to be offended by a stick figure is bad news for my government”

“I have spoken with VicRoads and will am overruling any of the proposed new street light icons with one of my own choosing”

Ironically, it is Andrews’ proposed alternative street light icon that shows an undeniably male figure – But, as he points out, it is one particular icon that all Victorians can identify with: Shane ‘The King Of Spin’ Warne.

“Warnie is an icon in himself. He transcends gender, race and class. He is the pinnacle of Victoria. The greatest thing we have ever produced”

“Shane Keith is universally loved by all sides of politics and all age groups. He will now be entrenched in the heart of our city for many years to come. As a state icon, and a street light icon”

Local whingeing leftie and part-time Moroccan drumming instructor, Niall Lupi, says as hard as he tries, he’s unable to find anything offensive with this new proposed shape of LED lights.

“Warnie… I guess you can’t argue with that”

“Men want to be him and women want to be with him… and anyone who doesn’t identify as a man or a woman can definitely appreciate what he did for Australian cricket”

“I approve of this. Let’s move on”

“For starters, I don’t like that some of our underfunded regional primary schools are still using ‘black’-boards”

“A term like that is racist, and in fact it’s actually archaic”



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