ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A local mature-aged student, complete with years of life experience and know-how, has regaled her new classmates this afternoon with tales of how tertiary education used to be – most importantly, how cheap it was compared to right now.

Denise Porterhouse, who returned to study this semester, was shocked and horrified that students are now paying thousands of dollars for textbooks that most of them won’t even use.

However, no matter how useless they are, they’re compulsory and their absence often attracts an automatic fail grade.

“It’s just ridiculous,” said the student.

“Back in the 80s, we didn’t even have to pay for the bus to university, let alone the educational texts and degrees. This is appalling. Here I was thinking that Millennials were just whiners,”

“But after walking a mile in their shoes, I’ve come to learn that us Baby Boomers are a handbrake on society. We took everything for granted and now we need the pension. Sorry young people, you were right and us Boomers were wrong.”

But Porterhouse stopped short of calling for reform, saying that students, like her, are ‘more than capable’ of saving up for their education if they make ‘some sacrifices’.

“My daughter drives me to university two days a week, so I save money there,”

“Plus I don’t go out every night and get drunk like my younger classmates do. I don’t even smoke drugs. Haven’t been on an overseas holiday in years,”

“It’s all about putting your mind to it and having a go.”

The Advocate reached out to a number of Mrs Porterhouse’s classmates for comment but all refused to speak on the record about her.

More to come.


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