In breaking news, a man has been rushed to Royal Prince Alfred Hospital after allegedly touching shadow infrastructure minister Anthony Albanese’s Harley Davidson motorbike.

The victim is reported to have loudly exclaimed “Woah, check this out,” while attempting to sit on the highly modified muscle bike – before he was assaulted by an individual who is yet to be identified.

While witnesses including shoppers and business owners saw everything unfold they are yet to identify the attacker.

“I didn’t see anything.”

“Do I look like a snitch to you?”

“All I saw was that man acting a fool around Albo’s Harley. He got what was coming.”

Police officers in Albanese’s electorate of Grayndler state they are taking this situation seriously and will work hard to make sure no one messes with their MPs Harley again.

“It is our duty to make sure people are safe and that no one trips over and has a clumsy accident like that again.”

In a statement from MP Albanese’s office, they state they “regret the incident took place” and “wish the individual a speedy recovery and hope he never makes the same mistake again.”

The MP himself was unavailable for comment with unconfirmed reports stating he was in a butcher’s shop, holding raw steak against his knuckles.




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