7 November, 2016. 11:12

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

IF THERE’S ANYTHING worse than seeing Quentin de Kok club Nathan Lyon around the WACA all afternoon, it’s the ‘appalling’ Howzat advertisement from the Commonwealth Bank that plays between each over – that’s according to one local punter.

The 30-second ad is so bad, it’s prompted a Perth man to close his account with the Commonwealth, something he said he’d never would’ve considered in the past.

“You can hear it in the kitchen when you get up to put the kettle on between overs,” said Cameron Lindsay, of Peppermint Grove. “I’ve even started smoking outside to get away from it.”

“The viewing is already grim enough without having to see these players whore themselves out at gunpoint for a faceless corporation that’s fuelled exclusively by the pain and financial suffering of the working class.”

“So I’m protesting the only way I can – by taking my business elsewhere. I urge others who feel the same about this to do the same. I hope that copywriter loses his job, I mean, fuck me with a rake… What was he thinking?” he said.

Mr Lindsay is currently undecided where to take his everyday savings and credit card account, but he’s exploring options outside the big four banks. Stating for the record that he won’t be going to any “communist credit union-type set-ups” but perhaps a smaller bank – such as Bendigo or P&N.

However, his first priority is to replace the television he broke the last time the ad came on.


  1. Dear Sirs,

    As a Western Australian it appals me to see the poor quality international reporters you utilise to cover this state. We supply buckets of unjustified GST receipts to you loafers, and you are seemingly incapable of spending it on your foreign desk to provide quality coverage.

    For your information, the article above contains a number of basic factual inaccuracies no self-respecting and knowledgeable overseas correspondent would make if they even remotely knew their subject. They are;

    1. Any Peppermint Grove television used for sports viewing is always to be found on the Polo Channel. Cricket is something poor people watch.

    2. Any genuine Peppermint Grove resident who perchance was entertaining poor people in their house for a bet and condescended to allow them to switch it across from the Polo Channel does not need to get up between overs to switch on a kettle and make tea. That is what the domestic staff are there for.

    3. All genuine Peppermint Grove residents DO NOT smoke. They snort, inject, or dissolve into a very expensive single malt, any recreational chemicals they wish to use. Not even council workers in Peppermint Grove would be seen lowering the tone of the neighbourhood by smoking in it.

    4. Peppermint Grove residents are not that coarse that they engage in childishly peasant antics like switching bank accounts. Should the transgression warrant it, they simply buy the bank and sack the relevant staff responsible for annoying them.

    5. Rake-fucking would suggest gardeners are accorded the same household access as is granted to footmen, butlers and equerries. That notion is absurd.

    6. Because Peppermint Grove residents consider household items still there after more than a week are a surrogate for both poverty and sliding moral fibre, they are replaced/upgraded as a matter of course every few days or so. No bona fide Peppermint Grove resident need bother to “replace” a damaged television, as there’s usually a new one on the wall by the time they return from their next polo match.

    I suspect the Mr Lindsay referred to above may actually be a resident of Claremont instead. You should choose a foreign correspondent next time who has basic map-reading abilities.


    Ron Muppet


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here