A local inner-city yuppie has today decided that he will definitely be voting for the Liberal Party, possibly even One Nation after discovering a way to drink coffee without sipping it.

Emlyn Marano (33) says he now realises that Adani isn’t his business and he should stick his socialists nose back into his bowl of ramen.

The former latte-sipper lefty says he now has had his mind opened to the fact that there isn’t an international mens day and that Islam isn’t a race – all because he decided to drink a scolding hot coffee in one go.

As is defined by Oxford Dictionary, latte is a coffee drink made with espresso and steamed milk. The term as used in English is a shortened form of the Italian caffè latte, caffelatte or caffellatte, which means “milk coffee”.

Despite commonly-held theories that this particular type of coffee is the staple diet of left-wing inner-city snowflakes, recent data has found that it is also popular in traditional conservative regions with leafy trees and four-wheeled-drives. It is even found in areas where people like reading the Daily Telegraph.

“What I’ve found is it actually comes down to how you drink your latte” says Emlyn.

“I actually was such an irrational leftie with no understanding of what life was like for the common man, that was until I started sculling my lattes” he said.

“I’m now fully educated on how the family courts systems favour single mothers and how the Port Arthur massacre couldn’t have been perpetrated by only one gunman”


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