Attempts to be healthy have today been quashed after a local woman found herself halfway through a soggy salad.

Though her healthy lifestyle was always underscored by the weekend binge drinking, Lauren Hutchinson had convinced herself that she could somehow cancel out the mass hits of sugar by consuming lettuce leaves during the week. Which in reality, did little for her physical health but at least alleviated her guilt.

However, the unfortunate thing about being healthy is that just like spring rolls, salads can be unpredictable – as well as apples and watermelons, which can either be crunchy goodness or furry balls of disappointment. 

Today’s bowl of sadness happens to be a bowl of Caesar salad bought from a local cafe, which Lauren finds entirely underwhelming. And the fact it cost $17 probably doesn’t help either.

Grimacing as she lifts up a limp bit of lettuce drenched in Caesar dressing, Lauren wonders if maintaining a slim waist is really worth a lifetime of rabbit food or if swapping her vodka red bulls for G&T’s will do the trick instead.

More to come.


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