England has been heavily reprimanded by Australia today, after we realised the most recent glamorous gay Greek bloke they sent us is actually just a shit stirrer with and is nowhere near as talented as the last one that toured our country.

This comes as the nation stills grieves our adopted gay-Greek-British son, the darling George Michael.

Michael, who’s birth name was Georgios Kyriacos Panayiotou, died last year of unknown causes – and it seems that England has run out of gay Greek and Jewish celebrities that have nice things to say.

This comes after two men have been arrested and a police officer injured after violent clashes erupted outside an event hosting controversial British alt-right speaking gig in Kensington on Monday night.

Hundreds of left and right protesters gathered in front of the Melbourne Pavilion on Racecourse Road and Stubbs Street, where they faced off and fought with sticks all because some bloke who likes to upset people was in town.

Local Betoota car salesman, Gregory Hick (55) says he’d prefer a bit of Jitterbug over vitriolic and dangerous comments about women any day.

“We miss our George. The darling” he said

“Why didn’t he get to visit Parliament House. Who the fuck is this other bloke anyway? What does he sing”



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