ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Australia’s peak scientific body announced this afternoon that they’ve discovered what the most difficult question in life is, but stopped short of revealing what the answer is.

The CSIRO called a small press conference today in a function room of a reasonably priced hotel on the fringe of Brisbane’s CBD, where they offered a range of party pies and potato gems before they got down to business.

“If I can have your attention please,” said one researcher before clearing his throat.

“We’ve found out what the most difficult question in life is. You might want to write this down,”

“The question is, ‘Why did I just open the fridge?’ Yep, that’s it. Now I’m inviting you all to enjoy the rest of the Queensland-themed hors-d’oeuvres, but make sure not to use up all the smokey barbeque sauce, we’re saving that for next time.”

And with that, the four bemused journalists present at the conference shrugged and went back to the potato gems and party pies while they quietly talked among themselves.

Wanda Glendale, an intern reporter at The Brisbane Times, said she was ‘kind of shocked but not really’ at the CSIRO’s findings.

“Yeah, I could believe that,” she said.

However, the praise was far from unanimous, with a number of ABC employees asking if it was an appropriate use of taxpayer money and time.

“It’s a bit of a waste, I reckon,” said one predictable bespectacled ABC reporter.

“Taxpayer money isn’t something that should be wasted. Just ask our deputy president-manager social media manager.”

More to come.


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