28 February, 2017. 9:45

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

If your power has gone out in the past year, chances are local petty crook Koyle Greene is to blame.

Voted the funniest in his year by his South Betoota Catholic High classmates back in 2009, the now 25-year-old amateur comedian has put his excellent interpersonal skills and happy-go-lucky nature to good use by entering the burgeoning industry of copper wire theft.

“On a good day, I can find enough [copper] wiring to put the deposit down on a rental television,” he said.

“Haven’t had many of those, but I’m working hard as football season is coming up and I’m from every watering hole in town except for the Wu-Fang-Fang Chinese. I haven’t got the type of money to sit there and drink Crownies all night.”

Stemming from his youth acting up at school and getting flogged with a set of jumper leads when he got home at night, even Greene himself is unsure where his penchant for the greeny-gold metal came from.

But if he had to choose, he’d say that he was drawn to the valuable cabling after getting into hard drugs and heavy metal straight out of secondary school.

“Yeah, that’ll take the fizz out of life pretty quick,” he said.

“Listening to Finnish death metal while a stranger buys you a ticket on the H train to flavour town isn’t a cool as it sounds. Stay in school kids, too many of my friends have either overdosed or electrocuted themselves.”

More to come.


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