CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Tens of thousands of Western Sydney residents have today arrived at the New South Wales Central Coast, in the first wave of Christmas pilgrims.
The epicentre of this mass, temporary exodus is none other than the home of ‘water-based-westies’ known as The Entrance.
Local lifesaver, Joel Coastie, says from here on out it is hell for fucking leather.
“We can expect an ocean full of rat tails and sleeve tatts… and a car park full of the biggest four wheel drives you’ve ever seen”
“Last year I saw a 180 kilo Samoan do a back flip on a jet ski inside the red and yellow flags”
While many of the pointlessly angry locals take issue with this summer time phenomenon, local industry thrives.
Local butcher, Bully, says he just waits until January to celebrate Christmas.
“Mate these Westies fire up charcoal barbies on the middle of the street. It’s fucking glorious for business”
“My brother-in-law, Jai, runs the fishing and tackle store. I reckon he’ll be sold out of spear fishing guns by Friday”
With another six waves of the pilgrimage expected between now and December 26, Central Coast travel agents say that they are now resorting to selling 5×5 square metre makeshift campsites in the nearby national park.
Owner and operator of Entrance Holidays, Bryrone says it’s fucking grouse.
“Mate, no one holidays like the Westies. Gotta fucking love it. They aren’t too different to us mob up here, other than the fact that they seem to have an extremely disposable income”