5 June, 2017. 18:34

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The token Englishman in the office has spent the afternoon laughing at his Australian coworkers for putting on their arctic-grade coats before heading home for the night.

“Just look at them,” said Martin McMannerford, a banking business analyst

“The moment the mercury dips below 20, they act like the world is ending! [laughs] They should harden up! They wouldn’t last a minute in a European winter. What a bunch of sooks! Ashes!”

However, a number of his local colleagues have hit back at the uppity POM.

Dennis Coolidge, originally from Melbourne, also used to laugh at his Brisbane and Sydney-native work pals when they put on a serious coat for a not-so-cold brisk walk home.

But Coolidge saw the light after pretending the cold didn’t get to him last winter, where he found himself getting sick more often that not.

“Now I wear my Canada Goose parka home, even when it’s not actually that cold,” he said.

“Martin might try to take the piss but whatever, fuck him. All you have to do is tell him to run it straight and he goes back to his cubical. Honestly, it’s June. Everyone in the banker sector that fucking busy right now. Just let be cunt.”

More to come.



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