29 April, 2016. 13:23
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
AS THE CLASSIC JOKE would allude to, how do you know if somebody is a member of Royal Sydney Golf Club?
They’ll tell you.
Now a 69-year-old disabled transgender Jewish Aboriginal woman can tell everybody who’ll listen that she’s become the first of her background to become a part of the exclusive organisation.
Baayami Noccabrara Goldstein became a member this morning after completing her initiation ceremony today in Sydney, which included a number of secret tasks and challenges.
“I’m just so happy to be finally part of this lovely club. I’ve been on the waiting list since 1961, thought I’d never see the day,” she said.
“Not only am I the first Aboriginal transgender Jewish disabled woman to become a member of Royal Sydney, I’m also the first out each of those things,”
“I just hope they don’t start letting South Africans in here.” she said.
Goldstein’s admittance represents an internal regime change in the club, with the incoming president speaking for a less conservative Royal Sydney for the future.
Bruce Alan Faraday was elected president earlier this year on the promise that he’d make the club more accessible to everyday people.
However, in his address to the club this morning, the 46-year-old retired merchant banker said his recent appearance in the news for having sex with a Catholic girl in 1991 and his rampant use of marijuana and cocaine during his professional life will not detract from his plan for the club’s future.
“Let today be about Baayami, not about what I did as an unmarried junior associate at Credit Suisse,” he said to the screaming crowd.
“Royal Sydney will no longer have to pay for Welcome To Country ceremonies, or hosts for bar and bat mitzvahs,”
“It’s a step in the right direction. It’s a tip toe forward in terms of our fiscal policy – and it’s a giant leap for social equality.”
Kill it, Kill it with fire.
BREAKING – the Royal Melbourne Golf Club has upped the stakes by admitting its first disabled transgender Jewish Aboriginal AMPUTEE woman.
Bonnasooola Kurrudjeree Cohen – ‘Bonnie’ to her new friends and ‘Benny’ to her older friends – has wanted to play golf ever since she was a he of ten years old, and realised that being born without arms presented the challenge of a lifetime. As a part of Bonnie’s membership package, which included fifteen exclusive interviews every year for the next twenty years with Women’s Day, she will be permitted to put in her rounds by proxy. Any day she visits the golf course, she will automatically be granted the club champion’s score. If by chance one of her opponents does better the champ’s numbers they will be expelled from the club on the spot.
Eddie McGuire is expected to say something stupid about this in time for the evening news.
I’m a transgender woman, man female male fem-boy muslim jewish palestinian pashtun turk christian 4 leg amputee and I have a wheel chair and crutches.