Brisbane City Council will reduce its 2023/2024 budget by about $400 million in a cost cutting exercise, as Lord Mayor Adrian Schrinner attempts to deal with inflation by simply being less pretentious.

The move, which comes just months after the budget was handed down in June, will equate to a 10 per cent reduction in council spending by choosing to not indulge the high-brow art snob councillors and their cringe vision for a city full of airbrushed mural commissions.

The savings measure will include putting a pause on the Toowong green bridge, which nobody really asked for except property developers who are currently gentrifying West End with a flame thrower.

They will also be cutting the spending for the public art component of the Brisbane Metro line.

Instead, they’ll be handing over all public art to that unique brand of criminal who spends their life dodging cops and rail guards to quench their unrelenting thirst to cover the city in aerosol spray paint.

The average rate hike for Brisbane ratepayers in the 2023-24 financial year was 3.45 per cent.

Speaking to ABC Radio Brisbane on Tuesday, Mr Schrinner pointed to the increased costs his council was facing.

“The cost of pretty much everything we’re doing continues to increase,” he said.

“We don’t need to spend millions paying some nerds from GOMA (Gallery of Modern Art) to make our city look like a rack of Hallmark birthday cards”

As Schrinner points out, The Brown Snake was once home to some of the most prolific graffers in the game.

“Bro. Remember when Sofles was getting up?”

“We used to flock to Roma Street station every time he smashed a panel. That shit goes way harder than some lame mural of kids faces and jacarandas”

The Mayor says this exercise of public art will cost the city nothing, other than a spike in petty theft from hardware chains and army supply stores.

“We could also cut costs on policing. There’s really no need to spend that much money trying to prevent minor felons from doing something beautiful”

“We wanna take Brisbane back to it’s heyday of graff. I’m talking Drapl, Seiko, Rival, Jade, Views, Tash, Buer”

“If some of these lads are in retirement, I wanna bring em out.”

“BWP, RFW, DGR. Come through. The city is yours kings”


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