Wallabies coach Eddie Jones is standing his ground and has pledged to bring Australia’s national rugby union side back to their former glory, despite the historically lacklustre performance at the 2023 World Cup.

The pressure is mounting up on Jones, as he begins to start copping criticism from former Wallabies players who think they are an authority on the modern game because they used to win 60% of their matches when the All Blacks were white PE teaches.

With rumours he might be standing down to take a job in Japan, Eddie Jones appeared in front of the media in Sydney this morning to face the music.

But Eddie Jones, a man who has well and truly proven his coaching abilities for an array of national sides in the Northern Hemisphere, has only confirmed his plans to continue building a competitive Wallabies side for the 2027 Rugby World Cup in Australia.

This kind of patience and commitment is not commonly associated with the long lunching executives that make up Rugby Australia’s Mosman top brass.

As predicted, the sparkling RM Williams boots are bumping toes at the Balmoral Bathers Pavillion this morning, as RA executives begin brainstorming ways to turn this fall from grace around – without obviously looking inward at their impractical dedication to private school elitism.

Much like the Liberal Party of Australia and other increasingly irrelevant stuffed-shirt institutions like the Australian Wool Board and the Freemasons, the only trick left in RA’s playbook is to orchestrate another leadership spill for a short-lived boost in confidence amongst their board members – who still refuse to admit that a winning rugby world cup side exists in the Penrith Panthers NRL grassroots system alone.

However, today Eddie Jones has pulled a Beyonce on the RA board, and made it clear that is him who is irreplaceable – not the opportunity. And Japan will always be waiting for him to deliver them a semi-finals appearance if Australia even thinks of shafting him.

“You must not know ’bout me, you must not know ’bout me” he warned Rugby Australia at a press conference this morning.

“I could have another you in a minute”

“Matter of fact, he’ll be here in a minute, baby”

“You must not know ’bout me, you must not know ’bout me”

“I will have another you by tomorrow”

“So don’t you ever for a second get to thinking you’re irreplaceable”


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