As the Bedourie Roosters lick their wounds following an unnecessarily large blow out following their trial match against The Betoota Dolphins last night, 3rd grade flanker, Lloyd Becker (27) has fifteen minutes to make contact or else the bus will leave without him.

The annual exhibition match between the half-hearted rivals of the Channel Country Rugby League ended in a spectacularly inappropriate fashion with three clubmen unaccounted for, and upwards of twenty players arriving at the pick up spot without having had any sleep.

“Has anyone heard from Lloydy?” asks club captain Bruce Fergus (33).

“We are picking up Rooter and Shenny from the Maccas downtown, they just called me a phone at the servo”

“Haven’t heard from Lloydy. It was 9 am pick up, it’s nearly 10. Get on your phones, boys. Someone find this moron”

As Lloydy’s phone goes straight to message bank, no one in the entire 120-year-old footy club could imagine the amount of curry the farming machinery sales rep has landed himself in.

Lloydy is currently being detained in a drunk tank at the Milbion station, after an almighty punch on at the Royal Hotel last night.

After losing the boys at the Betoota Sporties, it appears Lloydy ended up being dragged across town by a bunch of nurses.

It was at about 3am when it became clear to Lloydy that the all-girl group that had adopted him had been jeered at by a bunch of bullet proof sleazebags out for a 21st.

After knocking the birthday boy clean out and threatening the rest of them with further shivalry, Lloydy was invited back to the nurses quarters for a kick-on, that was until the birthday boy’s brother and his mates arrived at the venue to see his unconscious younger sibling having his neck stabilised.

As whispers of the barny make their way back to the hungover football club, several of Lloydy’s teammates make it clear that they wish they were there with him to punch on with a bunch of professional glass balustrade installers.

Some, however, aren’t as sympathetic.

“We’ve gotta get the minibuses back before close of business” says the sociopathic club treasurer, Kyle, who seems overly eager to leave Lloydy behind to make the 8 hour trip home by himself.

“Cunt, he could be fucken dead. The buses can wait” says 3rd grade captain and prominent tax cheat, Mitchy.

Kyle responds.

“Mate, is it your name on the fucken forms? Is it your card they took down for the fucken deposit?”

“I couldn’t give a fuck where the stupid prick ended up. Bus leaves in ten”


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