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In the ultimate act of disrespect, a South Betoota man has struggled to keep a straight face this afternoon after handing his visiting cousin a bootleg, nigh-on-unusable Nintendo 64 controller as the pair sat down to enjoy a quick game of Blast Corps before tea.

Levon Danko popped in from nearby Windorah earlier today and called in to see his cousin Robbie around 3pm this afternoon for a chat and a stubbie.

But as they hadn’t seen each other for a while, Levon ultimately decided to release himself to the evening by putting his keys away and helping himself to a second cold lager.

Recalling the good old days, as Millennials often do to pass the time, both Levon and Rick began to recall their Nintendo sessions that’d go on long into the night back when they were kids.

“I’ve still got it hooked up in the sunroom,” said Rick.

“Come on, I’ll play you in Blast Corps. I’ve been getting around it lately. Serious blast from the past it is. Oi, but yeah, you should stay the night. We’ll go to the pub for dinner and come home and get a bit stoned and take turns playing PilotWings. Remember that game?”

Levon just laughed and agreed.

But that’s where the joy ended – for one of them.

Rubbing the back his hand over the old CRT TV, feeling the crackle of the static electricity that built up on the glass on his skin, Levon picked up the sleek see-through genuine controller and handed Rick a bootleg one that should’ve never left the factory.

“Woah, steady on, mate,” said Rick.

“What the hell is this thing? How the fuck am I supposed to use this thing, you big quiche?”

“How do you hold it? Like what? Really? It feels like I’m cupping Mark Taylor’s balls!”

Levon urged Rick to listen to him.

“Mate, I use it all the time when Garth [older brother] is here. He makes me use it and I always school the bearded freak in GoldenEye with it. If I keep flogging you, we can swap, alright?”

As the afternoon continued into the sunset, Levon did, in fact, spend the time running rings around Rick.

He refused to swap controllers like he said.

More to come.




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