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Foxtel and their trendy new logo have revealed themselves to be the biggest Game of Thrones spoiler so far this season after their streaming service collapsed yesterday evening amid a spike in demand.

The first episode of season seven was made available early Monday night to unbridled fanfare, however, many were let down by the nation’s peak subscription television service, leading them to issue an official apology via social media at 2200 AEST.

Foxtel Internet content manager Michael Hastie explained to The Advocate that the bed-shitting was not confined to just Australia, but other parts of the world were also affected.

“We are sorry for promising you a nice comfy bed with high-thread-count sheets and all,” he said.

“But we ultimately pulled back the sheets and just shit all through the bed. We here at Foxtel are sorry for this inexcusable technical malfunction and we hope to make it up to all our customers in the coming days,”

“And no, there won’t be a Telstra-style ‘day of free data’ here. We are not the Smith Family, we are News Corp.”

The Advocate reached out to Rupert Murdoch for comment regarding the technical difficulties, to which he said he didn’t know the ins-and-outs of it, but the person responsible will be dealt with.

“It is standard News Corp protocol to lash offenders such as the one responsible for the glitch last night with a Cat o’ Nine Tails made up of ethernet cables,” said Murdoch.

“I hope I’m there to see it.”

More to come.



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