WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact

It has been confirmed today that Phil Thomas reckons he is pretty fucking good at touch footy.

“Yeah I go alright champ,” he told The Advocate.

The local accountant in The French Quarter laces on the boots every Monday night to light up his social mixed touch comp.

The ex-Dolphins reserve grade winger rates himself as a speedster, a bit of a playmaker and a game breaker.

Thomas’ perception of himself is typified by the religious wearing of a backwards cap every time he plays the game.

“Man it’s just like to keep the sweet and hair and stuff like out of my face. And to be frank with you, it makes me feel way more dangerous,” he said.

Local Human Affairs Expert at the Betoota Social Anthropology Association, Simon Watson, confirmed that people who wear caps backwards during sport are of the belief that they are very good at touch footy.

“I think it stems from footage during the news of professional athletes training with hats on backwards.”

“However, understandably they do it because they may be running in the sun during the hottest part of the day for up to two hours. They aren’t playing mixed social touch in a temperate climate under lights for 20-25 minutes.”

Watson said that there is always one gimp who has to rock the backwards facing cap in a team.

“It’s very common actually. It’s usually worn by the guy who was never much good at sport and is insecure about numerous facets of his life.”

More to come.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here