The Australian Labor Party is in a mad rush this afternoon, getting the affairs of some of their most notable figures in order.

After revelations that ABC Correspondent Bill Birtles and AFR Correspondent Mike Smith were forced to flee the country as a result of being intimidated by the Chinese Government, the Labor Party has today followed suit.

The red side of politics who were relieved at having something to do this week, following months of idleness, told The Advocate that they have quickly pulled all of their staff out of the increasingly authoritarian country.

“We just can’t risk one of our people running their mouth over there and causing a scene,” explained Anthony Albanese over a bubble tea.

“So we have got them on the next flight out of Beijing.”

“We told Sam Dastyari an FM Radio Station had a slot for him on one of their Drive Programs and he was straight to the airport.”

“Rudd and PJK were a bit trickier, but we said the ABC wanted them on Q and A next week and brought them around.”

Albanese explained that he trusts his friends at and involved with the CCP, but he just had to make sure things couldn’t go south.

“I mean, what if they forced Sam to say something about the South China Sea and he refused.”

“Then we’ve gotta deal with 10 Chinese cops rocking up at his place at midnight and taking him away, and I have to sort things out.”

The trio and other staffers connected to powerful donors are set to land back in the country early tomorrow morning our time.

More to come.


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