LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT

During the lockdowns of 2020, Zoom hangouts became a popular way to socialise, being a little bit weird and awkward but emphatically preferable to staying at home with your social meter draining like a Sim.

As insistent as ever to let another developed country be the best at something, almost 50% of the Australian population is in lockdown again due to the disease reinventing itself like a mid-’10s Miley and reentering the population where it’s easier to score heroin than a vaccine.  

Now in a San Andreasy sigh of starting over yet again, locked down families and friendship groups have started utilising the online video chat service to recreate the experience of seeing one another in person.

Unlike in-person meetings, however, Zoom meetings have made smoke bombing easier than ever, with accountant Ros Dyer (29) taking the opportunity during online drinks with friends to spin a surefire fib that would see her leave the chat with no questions asked.

“Aah shittt, almost outta battery guys I gotta go!” said Dyer to the seven people she claimed to miss the most throughout lockdown.

“Bye, see you soon hopefully!”

Dyer then left the chat immediately after making the unverified claim that her phone battery was low, leaving those to ponder if there was no other way she could rejoin the call using the other 21st century technologies she has in her home.

Some pondered that perhaps she had spun the lie after she was roasted pretty hard for her lockdown haircut, only to notice that another of their number had jumped in on Dyer’s smoke bomb, disconnecting at exactly the same time as if to go undetected. 

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