In his daily appearance on ABC 24, former Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull has today avoided answering any questions about why another five billion dollars has been added to the tab for his 20th century broadband network yesterday

Turnbull appeared on the Afternoon Briefing with Patricia Karvelas to discuss a whole range of political issues that were political issues when he was Prime Minister and still remain political issues.

After spending most of the interview talking about gas energy, and how he had a plan that was better than gas energy, Turnbull was then hit with the curveball of “what about this NBN aye Mal?”

“Oh. What are they saying now??” sighed Turnbull.

Karvelas went on to explain how that whole C-grade incarnation of Australia’s initially proposed broadband network has already been tipped for an upgrade, after five years of paying 19-year-old blokes astronomical salaries to tear open nature strips around the country.

The Federal Government has announced a new NBN upgrade that would involve expanding the Fibre To The Node (FTTN) system by building “local fibre networks” that would run along the nation’s street fronts, that are already connecting to kilometres of copper wire that the Turnbull Government insisted were just as good.

“Very importantly, it will be based on the principle of demand,” said Communications Minister Paul Fletcher, who seems to have just realised that having decent internet might be important for a rapidly decentralising population who have spent most of the year indoors.

Karvelas continued grilling Turnbull about how his lacklustre NBN that his government was pressured into rolling out by Rupert Murdoch in an effort to keep print newspapers and cable TV alive, is already outdated, and now his successor’s government has decided to keep piling billions onto the already astronomical $50 billion dollar bill.

“Well, uh, the thing about that PK” says Turnbull as his he opened a leather clad stamp box.

“Is ummmm…”

Turnbull kept fiddling in front of himself, while struggling to unveil an unidentifiable silver gadget, which he then held at eye level with the interview.

“Just look here for a second”



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