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Melbourne mother, Lynne Seede, is having trouble deciding which elite private school she should book Tarquin and Geneva into.
“I hope whichever religious institution we decide upon is supportive of Tarquin and Geneva’s decisions,” she says.
“For the good part of the decade, I’ve successfully raised two gender-neutral children, but it’s getting to that point where they might need to start wearing stockings in winter,”
While Lynne’s husband, Mark – a successful investment banker – says he pretty much just assumes their genders are the one they appear to have been born with, the children, aged eight and seven are yet to wear any pink clothing.
“Mate, I thought she’d stay in Sydney when I told her that work was sending me down to Melbourne,” said Mark.
“But yeah, she’s as mad as a cut snake. I’m working with a few mates now to move all my money overseas. I hope to have her bushed by Easter. I’m prepared to lose the house, but fuck me? What cost do you put on your sanity? And no judge would grant her custody, I mean she’s telling my boy that it’s OK to be a girl. Bitch he’s got the boy bits, he’s a fucking boy.”
However, Lynne has taken the high road on the issue.
“I just want them to be comfortable with who they are,” says Lynne.
“And if that means they have to wear bland, unisex clothing and not play sport, then so be it”.
This isn’t the first time Lynne Seede, a publicist and food blogger, has made the headlines with her alternative lifestyle and non-stop Instagram profile.
Prior to moving to Melbourne late last year, Mrs Seede caused quite a stir in her native Sydney.
In October last year, Mrs Seede put forward a proposal to local council that enforce an official gluten-free zone to cover roughly two kilometres of Crown Street, one of the busiest nightlife precincts in Australia.
“We aren’t asking for this. We are demanding it,” she said at the time.
“There are thousands of Surry Hills residents that recognise gluten can be harmful, and quite frankly, we don’t want it here.”
After he calls for a gluten-free precinct fell on deaf ears, she packed her family up and made the move down to Melbourne, where people care about these sorts of things.
“They have a Greens man representing them federally, who really cares about gender-fluidity and gluten – instead of some glory-hunting union stooge. Yes I’m looking at you, Tanya Plibersek. Bitch.”