Melbourne mother, Lynne Seede, is having trouble deciding which elite private school she should book Tarquin and Geneva into.

“I hope whichever religious institution we decide upon is supportive of Tarquin and Geneva’s decisions,” she says.

“For the good part of the decade, I’ve successfully raised two gender-neutral children, but it’s getting to that point where they might need to start wearing stockings in winter,”

While Lynne’s husband, Mark – a successful investment banker – says he pretty much just assumes their genders are the one they appear to have been born with, the children, aged eight and seven are yet to wear any pink clothing.

“Mate, I thought she’d stay in Sydney when I told her that work was sending me down to Melbourne,” said Mark.

“But yeah, she’s as mad as a cut snake. I’m working with a few mates now to move all my money overseas. I hope to have her bushed by Easter. I’m prepared to lose the house, but fuck me? What cost do you put on your sanity? And no judge would grant her custody, I mean she’s telling my boy that it’s OK to be a girl. Bitch he’s got the boy bits, he’s a fucking boy.”

However, Lynne has taken the high road on the issue.

“I just want them to be comfortable with who they are,” says Lynne.

“And if that means they have to wear bland, unisex clothing and not play sport, then so be it”.

This isn’t the first time Lynne Seede, a publicist and food blogger, has made the headlines with her alternative lifestyle and non-stop Instagram profile.

Prior to moving to Melbourne late last year, Mrs Seede caused quite a stir in her native Sydney.

In October last year, Mrs Seede put forward a proposal to local council that enforce an official gluten-free zone to cover roughly two kilometres of Crown Street, one of the busiest nightlife precincts in Australia.

“We aren’t asking for this. We are demanding it,” she said at the time.

“There are thousands of Surry Hills residents that recognise gluten can be harmful, and quite frankly, we don’t want it here.”

After he calls for a gluten-free precinct fell on deaf ears, she packed her family up and made the move down to Melbourne, where people care about these sorts of things.

“They have a Greens man representing them federally, who really cares about gender-fluidity and gluten –  instead of some glory-hunting union stooge. Yes I’m looking at you, Tanya Plibersek. Bitch.”



  1. So she wants to give her kids a choice to chhose what gender they are but doesn’t allow anyone else to choose what food we eat in a certain area…. Some people…really, why do we listen

  2. Just saw a reference to this website in the BBC news article and decide to visit right away.

    From what is saw so far it will mean I can find relief and a laugh when I am sick reading MSM stuff for a while.

  3. WTF? Letting kids choose their own genders? In our day they would be told what bloody gender they are and damn well like it. Typical of our child-centric society today. Think I’ll move to Betoota.

    • I feel sorry for the people of Australia that they do not have another country sharing a border that they can force to pay for their wall. (Sad face emoji goes here)

      • We could go’n build one round the Hutt River Province. That would teach em a lesson or two, them lot, coming here and takin all our jobs. They don’t send their best people, you know!

  4. I can’t believe there people who actually believe that these stories are real – don’t you understand humour? blooming marvellous and reminds me of my 10 years living in Australia; brilliant and now sending links to all my friends!

  5. Geez I dunno if I approve of all this gender liberalism – it’s confusing. When I was a kid some nameless faceless official just wrote yer sex down on the birth certificate, and if you didn’t like it well tuff. Damn lucky, when I think of it, that they got mine right first time, otherwise that beaut Triton 2 horsepower plunge router me uncle gave me at my christening woulda been all in vain.


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