LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
Future attendees of Betoota High class of ‘98 reunion have been dealt a hard hand this week as it was confirmed by law enforcement authorities that school reunion organiser Lindsey Carter (38) is a full-on masochistic psychopath.
Betoota PD uncovered plans hatched by Carter to make the twenty-year high school reunion an absolute shitfest including a plans to read out their principals’ original graduation speech, a jocks vs nerds dance-off and a slideshow of old photos from 1998 set to the tune of ‘You Only Get What You Give’ by New Radicals.
“Clearly this is the work of a disturbed individual determined to rob their former classmates of an evening of their life they otherwise would have spent not hating themselves,” stated Betoota police chief Gordon Gordonson.
“A search of the premises also revealed Miss Carter had planned to play a game where attendees took turns guessing one another’s net annual income and a prize awarded for ‘Smallest Distance Travelled.’”
Liam Smith (38) planned on attending his 20-year high school reunion and is surprised to hear his former classmate planned on belittling and humiliating the people who she spent five torturous years with.
“It’s very much a relief to hear it’s not on anymore,” said the former high school footy star.
“I planned on wearing my old footy jersey to show it still fits. She would have torn me apart. Did you know she was giving out an award called ‘Most likely to have peaked in high school’ and I was the only nominee? Geez, all because I was two timing her with my now wife. Some people.”
