It didn’t take long for local Instagram addict Jess Mayer (33) to grow tired of reading interesting statistics about her friends and family today.

Just 9 minutes in her 45 minute bedside scroll this morning and Jess has already cracked the shits.

“Argh” she says.

“Not this again”

The young mother appears to have taken issue with the yearly trend currently dominating her social media feed. ‘Spotify Wrapped’ – which can only be described as the coolest violation of user data of all the major streaming platforms, is today providing users with their own personalised year in review.

And in 2023 the number one international artist Australians listened to was Taylor Swift, the number 1 homegrown artist Australians listened to was The Wiggles. These statistics alone are very interesting, because Australian music journalism would have you believe the number one band in Australia was either Sheppard or G-Flip.

However, these raw insights aren’t doing much for Jess, as she scrolls instagram on her quest for a never-to-be achieved nirvana of interesting content.

“NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR SPOTIFY WRAPPED” she posts to her own Instagram story, in white text, with a black screen.

Jess’s intellectual reaction to this universally loved past time is particularly interesting for someone whose entire digital footprint is made up solely of photos of her infant son eating celery, or lying next to another blob of a child that belongs to her friend who also had a kid around the same time as her during the pandemic.

Or the equally uninteresting series of throwback photo dumps from her 2018 wedding – which she often posts for no identifiable reason, on dates that hold no significance to either her or her husband.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here