CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Contractors responsible for the National Broadband Network have today begun mailing out urine sample jars to frustrated Australians, as the failed infrastructure project begins to visibly take the piss.
Millions of Australians will soon have access to the ultra-fast broadband that was initially proposed the first time anyone spoke about the NBN, before Murdoch and Abbott kicked around the Communications Minister, who later became the Prime Minister, around the park until he degraded the infrastructure from fibre to copper wire, in an effort to prolong the death of Foxtel and print newspapers.
However, this new upgrade to the NBN, expected to be finished by 2023, will cost a $3.5 billion – a bill that will be lopped on top of the existing 50 billion that has already been spent.
In what appears to be a backdown by the Government from its original plan for the network’s rollout, the three Prime Ministers before our current Prime Minister that orchestrated this bin fire are also not required to comment on it.
I reject the premise of any question that the Liberal Party is in anyway responsible for this highly expensive and very pointless five years of failed network roll out that has resulted in tens of thousands of kilometres of copper wire being buried beneath our suburbs and towns” said Prime Minister Morrison this morning.
“But we’ve gotta be honest with everyday Australians, this is why the NBN have mailed out these piss cups”
“Because they are taking the piss. That’s literally all they are doing right now”
The Prime Minister was then questioned about the NBN this morning after revelations have found that the troubled rollout was creating a digital divide across Australia, with people out the back of Bourke looking like they’ll need to keep their home phones running for the next ten years as dial-up appears to be their own option, and Murdoch continues to destroy rural newspapers.
“Ahhh..” said Morrison.
“I’m not sure about that”
“Anyway. NRL Finals start next week!!!”
“Not long til the AFL Grand Final too. How good ahah”
I recently spent $45 to purchase one of your Betoota Advocate caps; a cap I wouldn’t have paid $5 for at my local Op shop. I’m not game to think what the T-shirts would be like.